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These are some success tips from "an insider". Dr. Martin has been voted America's Top Motivational Professor, and is a nationally known speaker and author.
One of the key strategies to acing college is to
treat school like a business (i.e., a job, a profession).
To help you see the picture a little more clearly, below
is a brief explanation of Professor Prejudices.
These are 16 categories in which college professors
place their students. In a sense, you could call
it stereotyping or prejudging, but we all do it;
we’re human, for goodness sake. I’m not
saying it’s right or that it’s fair, but
it happens. I call these categories the Student
Stranglers, because they strangle your chances for
success in the classroom.The sad thing about it
is that most students don’t even know when
they’re doing it.
Not
all of these categories are weighted equally (it
depends on the temperament of the professor), but
they all should betaken seriously. Please listen
to me, you need to AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS! Your
professors will not tell you which category they’ve
placed you in, so your job (your mission) is NOT
to put yourself in any one of them. Browse the list
to see if you or any of your friends are guilty
of falling into one or more of these Student Strangler
categories. If you do, get out of them!
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Professor Prejudices
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| ButtShark |
Definition:
Students who choose brown-nosing as both their
major and their minor.
Famous Words: (Any type of ingratiating
compliments)
Solution:
Avoid complimenting professors, unlessit’s
about the subject matter or their commitment
to teaching
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Excuser
Losers |
Definition:
Students who blame everyone and everything,
including the weather, for their bad grades.
Famous Words: .Let me tell you or explain
to you want happened....
Solution: Accept responsibility (even
if it wasn’t your fault). |
| The Whiners |
Definition:
Students who complain about every assignment,
project, group, grade, class, and/or incurable
disease.
Famous Questions: .Why do we have to...?.
Solution: Stop complaining! Keep your
complaints to yourself, unless asked. |
Johnny-Come-
Latelies |
Definition:
Students who have watches that are set 10 minutes
slower than everyone else’s (they are always
late to class).
Famous Words: I got caught up in traffic
or I overslept or my alarm didn’t go off.
Solution: Strive to get to class five
minutes early. |
| Echo Experts |
Definition:
Students who comprehend only after the 99th
time the answer or point has been repeated.
Famous Words: Can you repeat that? One
more time please. I didn’t get that last
point.
Solution: If it’s necessary for
the professor to repeat something for you more
than twice, see him/her about it after class. |
| Mike Tysons |
Definition:
Students who comprehend only after the 99th
time the answer or point has been repeated.
Famous Words: Can you repeat that? One
more time please. I didn’t get that last
point.
Solution: If it’s necessary for
the professor to repeat something for you more
than twice, see him/her about it after class. |
Paranoid
Floyds |
Definition:
Students who think the professor and the U.S.
government are strategically plotting to fail
them.
Famous Words: I really think the professor
is out to get me (or doesn’t like me).
Solution: Get over it. |
Einstein
Rejects |
Definition:
Students who act like THEY should be teaching
the course, instead of the professor.
Famous Words: I have a lot of experience
in that area. I know lot about that.
Solution: Use your knowledge to impress
people outside of the classroom, not in it. |
Fed-Ex
Rejects |
Definition:
Students who absolutely, positively, couldn’t
turn in an assignment on time if their life
depended on it.
Famous Words: Can I get an extension
(extra time) on that deadline.
Solution: Strive to turn in your assignment
a day early. |
Geraldo
Riveras |
Definition:
Students who have the need to get the last word
in on every subject.
Famous Words: I have something to say
about that. I disagree with that. I have an
opinion that.
Solution: If the professor doesn’t
ask for your opinion, don’t give it. |
Jim Carey
Wannabees |
Definition:
Students who will do or say anything for a
laugh.
Solution: Only strive to get a laugh
if someone i s
going to pay you for it.
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The
Peekaboos |
Definition:
Students who show up for class only on test
day or when there’s free food. They’ve
never seen the inside of a professor’s
office
before.
Solution: Get your money back for the
course. |
| The Whispers |
Definition:
Students who professors have to threaten or
blackmail to get them to speak up and participate
in class.
Famous Responses: I don’t know.
I have nothing to say about that. Complete silence.
Solution: Prove that you’re breathing,
speak up. |
Creditor
Predators |
Definition:
Students who want extra credit for everything,
including blowing their nose, spelling their
name correctly, and staying awake
in class.
Famous words: Do we get extra credit
for that?
Solution: Never ask for extra credit.
If you do what you have to, you’ll never
need it. |
| Stalkers |
Definition:
those who stick to professors like bad habits.
Wherever you see the teacher, you see the student.
Solution: Give professors their space.
There are laws against stalking. Use the professor’s
office
hours for personal visits. |
| The Clueless |
Definition:
Students who have no idea what’s going
on in class. The only thing they’re concerned
about is spring break and school
holidays. They usually ask other students a
million questions about what’s going on.
Famous Questions: So, what are we doing
now? What was the assignment again? Did you
get the class notes?
Solution: Follow the advice given to
the Peekaboos, get your money back. |
Note:
I’m absolutely certain that there are more
categories
than the ones listed above. What do you think?
However, I’m equally certain that any additional
categories are equally negative.
Students always ask me, “All of these categories
are negative, where are the positive categories?”
My response to them is: THERE AREN’T ANY. The
reason there aren’t any positive categories
for students is because there aren’t enough
positive students to place in them. I know that
sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.
Just think about the categories you just reviewed,
didn’t you think of at least one or more students
who could be categorized in each of the categories?
Your mission, as I mentioned earlier, is to AVOID
THESE
AT ALL COSTS. However, that’s not all you need
to do. Not
only do you need to avoid all of these categories,
you need
to also CREATE a positive new category for yourself,
and
that category is called DIFFERENT. Even if your
teacher
doesn’t know who you are, it’s just as
bad as being placed
in a negative category.
Trust me.
What I’m saying is that it’s better to
be categorized as
DIFFERENT than not to be categorized at all. The
tricks in
my course are all about setting yourself apart (being “different”) from the rest of your classmates.
Professor Joe Martin, Jr.
www.tricksofthegrade.com
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